Getting past Perfectionism

You don't have to try harder to make things easier

Do you find you are pushing yourself harder than you’d like or can sustain?

Do you have to be 10 steps ahead of everyone and over-prepared?

Do you notice that things just cant be ‘done’, they have to be done WELL or RIGHT?

If you feel like you are working nonstop and always spinning your wheels trying to ‘master’ things, you might be suffering from perfectionism. Since we are moving so much and so fast, it might be hard to really know the symptoms or signs of perfectionism.

These are some of the common reasons clients have reached out to get treatment for perfectionism.

Physical Mental Emotional
Insomnia Racing thoughts Easily Irritated when things don’t go as planned
Headaches Comparing yourself to others Feeling on edge
Stomachaches, indigestion Worrying Road rage,angry outbursts
Increased drinking, smoking, Netflix Over-analyzing Feeling defeated before the day starts
Muscle Tension “What if” thoughts Sense of dread
Holding Breath Hard internal critic, taskmaster Anxious or depressive feelings
Eye twitching Constant planning Overwhelm

 

Sometimes we get to a point where we know we need help to change our go-go-go behaviors. Our high stress and pressure filled jobs can make us feel important, but also experience exhaustion, anxiety and depression.

We often don’t know if it’s us or the work environment that is causes the stress, but we do know that despite being successful, we are having a hard time with life. And we have forgotten, or maybe don’t even know how, to find a middle ground, practice self-care, or even simply take a break.

This is where counseling for perfectionism can help!

We learn to move from just getting through our day to finding enjoyment in things that we used to tightly prioritize.

We learn to move from automatically listening to the constant pressure of the internal micromanager to recognizing what triggers this part as well as what we need to stop getting triggered in the first place!

We learn to move from a focus on image management to an actual appreciation of what we uniquely bring to the table.

Counseling for perfectionism allows us to feel good being human again.

Perfectionism focuses on being fast, efficient, smart, ready at a moment’s notice and inexhaustible. That is our version of being “good”, “okay” and “liked” or acceptable.

And that amount of pressure and stress is unsustainable.

I know your frustration towards perfectionism hasn’t changed it yet.

I know that you would just like to be done with this.

I know you have lived like this for a long time.

How do I know?

Because I am one too.  Read more about my experience here.

So even if you have no idea where to start, I do!

We start with the outside behaviors first. We get curious about HOW and WHY and WHAT exactly your perfectionism looks like and gets triggered by. I use Internal Family Systems, Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness practices to help create the curiosity and objectivity and then clarity to start to dismantle the thoughts and actions that go with perfectionism.

It’s not a simple thing to just start feeling better. But you knew that. And frankly, I wouldn’t expect a person with perfectionism to want an easy way out!

You can get out of this mode and stop needing to go above and beyond checking all the boxes.

You can figure out what your middle ground looks like, what breaks look like to you and how to start taking them.

You can shift from a baseline of tired, inadequate and angry to feeling more confident in your ability to meet normal human expectations and even experience moments of joy in your newfound “down time”.

Here are some easy steps to get started on your counseling journey!

  1. Contact me, Vicki B. Smith, LPC – this is the quickest way here.
  2. Set up a short 5-10 minute phone call to discuss logistics and I can answer any questions.
  3. Start finding your middle path, relaxing your internal micromanager and finally feeling capable and ready to handle your days!

Counseling for perfectionism isn’t the only service I offer in my Atlanta office. Other mental health services Vicki B Smith, LPC provides include generalized anxiety treatment, counseling for burnout, imposter syndrome, counseling for codependency, as well as mindfulness meditation training classes.

 

A quiet mind is able to hear, intuition over fear.

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